I was in denial, folks.
For five years, I thought I was making some sort of a difference with my outspoken, acerbic blog. I thought people actually cared about what I had to say, and had become bona fide “fans” of mine and the site’s.
But if I’m going to be honest, I’d have to say I was fooling myself for a long time.
I was so fucking convinced GSA would be an unstoppable force that would change the status quo that I devoted five years of my life and money to running it, and then, still in the throes of a self-fueled delusion, launched a crowdfunding campaign that I thought would generate more than the feeble response it did.
My head is no longer in the clouds, folks. I am now well fucking aware of my standing on the internet and today, leave a blogging world that has now become completely glutted, and I leave it a lot worse off than when I entered it.
I have fewer friends, even fewer connections and far less pull five years later. What respect I had in the realm of music writing when I first debuted this site has diminished substantially with every post since.
I now realize I have basically become a pariah in the metal world. Unfortunately, it took a failed crowdfunding campaign to show me the fucking light.
Of my many GSA-related regrets, second-guessing my initial decision to let this site just fade away by seeking patrons to help fund its future operations is definitely high up on the list, as it added undue insult to my already gaping wounds.
The following words will be my last for this site.
While it is true I have my regrets about the site, I am also slightly proud I was able to piss off so many people over the last five years with only my caustic opinions and phrasings.
I’m proud to have been that thorn in the side of so many shitty bands, who get their balls slobbered continuously by every other fucking site out there.
It was awesome to get to introduce you folks to so many different underground bands, and I was even kind of proud when the F.B.I. showed up at my door because of something I’d written.
I am proud to have been able to debut the writings of so many talented metal musicians — people I respect and whom I could tell would be adept scribes. It was amazing getting to know those guys better over the site’s history through my interactions with them and through their writings.
I’d like to thank Nick Lakiotes, my college roommate who I should make a point of seeing more often, for coming up with the GunShyAssassin logo. Thanks to Richard Sancho, Jesse Chase, and Charles Yakish for working hard and delivering on the design of the site’s three different versions. You guys are awesome and essentially worked for free.
Thanks also to Lawton Mann for his impressive “Clown Punch” painting, which was used for a time as the site’s logo.
Thank you to Trevor Strnad, Jesse Leach, Chris Reifert, Chris Howorth, Andrew Packer, Don Slater, Dave Davidson, Jesse James Madre, John Strachan, Dustin Boltjes, Zeena Koda, Mark Hunter, Jessica Pimentel, Robert Meadows, Brian Fair, Ville Friman, Ray Mazzola, Patrick Shannon, Tim Williams, Sean Harris, Xander Harrison, Rafael Gallaher, Danae Saree, The Goat, Andy Boyle, Alejandro Chavez, Chad Ackerman, and Anne Autumn Erickson for writing for the site for free, and helping to promote the blog through your engaging words.
Thanks, too, for always encouraging me in my efforts to buck the tide of corporate metal blogging.
Thank you Chris Adler for being an early supporter of the site, as well.
Thanks to my parents, my cousins, my sister, the rest of my family, and my friends who always encouraged me to do my own thing.
I heartfelt apology to all of the women I have dated over the course of the last five years, who all thought the site got in the way, at times. You were all probably right.
Thanks to the dudes at Clawhammer PR, Bob at Relapse, Carl at Action! PR, Kelly at Prosthetic, Nikki at Century Media, Enrique at Season of Mist, Liz at Earsplit, Curtis and Daniella at Dewar PR, Jon at Freeman Promotions, Ryan at Fresno Media, Nathan Birk, and Monica at Speakeasy. I am sure there were other publicists that weren’t prejudicial and worked with me despite my coarse approach, but I’m having trouble remembering everyone.
A tremendous “No thanks” goes out to all of the PR folks over at Metal Blade (after Kelly was promoted, that is), Nuclear Blast, and Roadrunner for all of their undermining, soul-crushing efforts.
I also want to recognize The Gauntlet, Nefarious Realm, Metal Insider, SMNnews, and the Metal Injection dudes for the linkage and for being brothers in arms when I first started off.
Sure, things changed between us over the years for various reasons. But, when I first began, your help was instrumental. And if I was ever critical, thanks for having the hutzpah to not get your panties all in a bunch, like some of those other asshats out there.
Thank you to all of the various band members who have emailed me over the years, persuading me to keep up the good fight. You know who you are if you ever actually read this.
I also want to take time to recognize the site’s only true fans: Helmut Moertl, David De Rosby, Raney Bell, Max Kristich, Jared Labay, Darin Lemerond, Michael Brown, Frank Nappi, Meddle Earth, Scott Alisoglu, Ryan Feldman, Brian Reyes, Josh Biddle, Richard Mockler, Bill Roth, Robby Byrd, Jason Stasienko, Curtis Dewar, Ben Davis, Sean Harris, Eric Osborn, Ryan Walker, Josh Smick, Gordie Stoner, Richard Donahue, Raf Eduardo, and Alix Vallecillo.
And if you ever liked the site on Facebook, followed us on Twitter, bought a GunShy shirt, or told a pal to check us out, thanks to you, too. You’re awesome.
OK — enough ass-kissing and “Thank You”s. I bid you all adieu, and remove myself from the entire music and metal industry after years of people standing in my way, misunderstanding me, stabbing me in the back, and lying to me.
The good news is that the site won’t be going dark. Sure, I won’t be at the helm anymore. A fan named Amir made me an offer. It wasn’t much (I may have broken even…I keep telling myself that, anyways), but I accepted, and the site is now rightfully his.
I apologize if this disappoints any of you.
I sold the site because I didn’t want five years of my hard work to just disappear from the fucking ether. But at the same time, I didn’t want to continue to fork over cash to keep it going, and didn’t want to stress myself out anymore with maintaining the fucking thing every fucking day.
I am burned out. I have bills mounting. The pittance I received for transferring the site to Amir will go immediately to help pay some of them off. A dent will barely be made.
The truth, if you want it, is that there are bloggers out there making thousands off of your Facebook likes, your comments, and your site visits. Do some research.
That’s why I always encouraged you to support this site, because it is one of the only sites that isn’t affiliated with a corporation. I am not even talking about Loudwire and Revolver, which fall under the corporate umbrella.
There are bloggers out there who don’t want you to know how much bank you’re help them make. They launched an ad network for metal sites and make money every time you visit any of the blogs that are part of that network — not just their own sites.
Know who you are supporting, folks. Look into some of these fucks you follow. Get the truth.
Anyways, starting soon, Amir will be introducing himself to all of you, and laying out his intentions for the site’s future, which I believe includes plans to expand to sports coverage.
I’m hopeful things won’t fall to shit too hard, but who knows? Part of me is worried, but I just need to move on, folks.
Apologies if this last goodbye wasn’t as vicious as you were expecting. I don’t see a need to go out on a truly sour note. I just need to go out.
Take care, people.