You have been dating for a while and you decided it is time to move in with your boyfriend. This is a huge step that you are taking in the relationship. Living with your boyfriend is not always roses and petals. There are things that you need to address before you move in with a boyfriend. Living with a boyfriend is different from visiting and going on dates. Let us look at some tips and things to know before moving in with your boyfriend.
When is the right time to move in with someone?
Nobody can tell you when to move with your boyfriend. It has to a mutual decision that both partners make. You will know when the time is right. You will be both compatible and prepared for the new chapter. If both partners are financially prepared then the time is right. You both can split the bills and support each other. Both partners should be emotionally prepared. It is more than seeing someone you love every day. Can you tolerate their pet peeve? Do you handle fights fairly and bounce back? If the answer is no you are not prepared to move in with someone. Hence you are not ready. Wait until you have a solid foundation.
Things to know before moving in with your boyfriend
Why are you moving in?
It is important to know why you are moving in. You should not move in because it is convenient. You should move in because you take the relationship very seriously. Are you planning to be together long-term? Have you talk about marriage? Don’t just move in because it is better to have one place and share the bills. You may regret it if things get worse financially. If this is the primary reason then you are not ready to move in with your significant other.
Know each other well
You should know each other well before living together. Of course, you cannot know someone unless you live with them but try to learn things about them before you move in. Ask questions and spend quality time together. You don’t want to be living with a total stranger and then regret it later. Know what you are going into before you pack your things and move in with your boyfriend.
Test the water
Visit your boyfriend and spend weekends together or maybe longer depending on your schedule. This will make the living together transition easier. You will get an idea of what the person is like in their own space. You will know if they keep their apartment tidy and organized the way you like it. Are you going to clean up after him? Is he tidy and you don’t have to worry about it? You cannot learn this on a date night or on the phone. Spend the holidays and weekends together and observe him.
Are you both financially stable?
Financial difficulty is one of the deal breakers in a relationship. Couples have divorced because of financial issues. Before living together ensure that you are both financially stable. You will be happier when the bills and utilities are shared. It can be shared equally or one partner may pay more depending on the income. Do not move in with your boyfriend and rely on him. Be independent and have your life in order. This is a common mistake many women make and lose their power. It is not the same in all cases but just be prepared.
Continue to date
Do not forget to keep the romance alive. You will see each other every day but you still need to get out of the house and enjoy your partner’s company. Make plans with your boyfriend and spend quality time outside of the apartment. Set a date especially for occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays.
Discuss chores and roles
Ask your boyfriend what he expects his partner to do in the house? Does he believe women should do all the chores or he should help out around the house? Hopefully, you are happy with his view and you are comfortable. I believe that the roles and chores should be shared if both partners are working. You don’t want to feel burdensome in the relationship and harbor resent because he doesn’t do the dishes.
You truly get to know someone when you live with them. There will be arguments and you should pick your battle wisely. Be solution driven when you argue with your partner. If you both are able to settle disputes well then it is highly likely that you will survive living together. Take a moment and reflect on disputes in the past and use them to predict the future.
If you are planning to rent an apartment with your partner then put both names on the lease.If your partner owns a home does he pay mortgages? Will you be contributing? What happens if you both break up? Does he live with his parents? Are you comfortable with living with his parents? These are concerns that you need to address. The best option is getting a place that you both will be responsible for. If anything happens then no one will be forced to put anyone out because it is their property. You both can sell it and start fresh if anything happens such as a breakup. If you both rent then it is easy to leave when you pay the last rent.
Live an independent life
Your life should not revolve around your partner. You should give him space. Men like their own space. Hang with your girlfriends and have a separate life. It will be beneficial for your relationship. Women tend to think that they need to stay in touch with their partner every day and as a result act clingy.
Lay down ground rules
It will be easier when you and your partner lay down ground rules. It will prevent arguments and insecurities. He is not allowed to use your toothbrush then it is a rule. He should abide by it and respect you.If he will come home late from work he should inform you so that you don’t freak out. Let your partner know what is not tolerated so that you can live together with killing each other.
Moving in with your partner is a huge step to take in a relationship. Before you do that you need to discuss several things such as finances, rules, and chores. Remember to test the water before you move in.